Monday, May 24, 2010

Knock Knock. Whos there? Just me bad mouthing my man


Today as I asked God where to start with this series I wrote a list of things down I feel played the biggest part in me nearly destroying my marriage. Two things I realized is, there is a lot of them, and I still have a long way to go in a lot of areas. So please just except this from someone humbled by her mistakes that would like to encourage other women with her story.



Don't you hate the phrase, "No offense."! As soon as those words come out of a persons mouth you can be sure whatever they are about to say will offend you. But what about "Just joking around."? If we say that phrase does that mean we get off the hook because we are just having some fun? Or what about "I'm just being honest."?


As women we so often fall into the category of degrading our husbands without evening realizing we are doing it. We think its all in good clean fun because we are just sitting around having a laugh with our friends.

"It's so annoying my husband won't keep his hands off of me!"

"You know how he is, if you don't ask him a million times he won't do it. I am better off just doing it myself."

"Yea right! My husband write me a romantic note. That would be the day!"

"Oh you know him the only thing he ever has time for is the things he wants to do."


BUT, you say, that's just between us girls and we always laugh you know it's so funny to swap stories about how messy are husbands are.


But, is it funny to them?

What if their conversations went like this....

"It's so annoying my wife is never in the mood."

"I get sick an tired of excuses for why the house isn't always cleaned up when I get home from work."

"Yea right! My wife wear something sexy for me? She barely remembers to brush her hair before I get home from work!"


If we ever heard our husbands sitting around joking about us like that we would be furious, embarrassed, and hurt. We don't want all our short comings laid out there for everyone to see like that. We certainly don't want to be a joke!

I am afraid I have been involved a few to many times in these kinds of conversations and embarrassingly enough I honestly thought it wasn't a big deal.

Now I see part of respecting our husbands is honoring them with our mouths...

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:33


Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:6


My pray is for me to continue to realize that this kind of joking is not appropriate and certainly does not show respect to our husbands!

Your hubby should feel like he is respect by your friends not a joke to them!

22 comments:

sarahmae said...

SO SO SO good. SO good.

so good.

Cindy said...

I love you. Yes, I do. I have a strict no-bashing policy where my husband is concerned. Consequently, some of my friends have the mistaken impression that he is perfect. I'm OK with that! I love him. Why would I want other people to think badly of him?

Allie Z said...

Yes yes yes! Totally love this. Amen!

Sara said...

This is so so true. I have found myself moaning about my husband only for someone else to repeat it and made me reason that what was a nuisance to me had become ammunition for others. It is so easy to destroy someone a lot easier that to build them up. I adore my husband and know God has blessed me greatly with him. I pray I remember this before I get ready to moan at him.

Thank you

Sara xxx

Brandy said...

Came here after seeing Sarah Mae tweet about it. I agree with her. This post was good. VERY good. Thank you for sharing!!

Teri Lynne Underwood said...

Excellent post ... I make it a habit to speak praise only about my husband and to encourage those within my realm of influence to do the same. I have noticed that the bashing dies down when no one participates. But I have also found that a gentle personal word to the woman/women who are doing it is also appropriate in many circumstances.

Muthering Heights said...

Amen and AMEN!!!

Kristy K said...

Great post! Like someone else said, I would rather my friends think my husband is perfect than some flubbering idiot (which is what I used to make him out to be).

Stacy said...

Wow! Awesome post. Thanks for this great reminder.

MoziEsmé said...

Well said...

Meg said...

This is SO true! Thank you so much for sharing this! Women need to hear it!

Katy Lin said...

amazingly well-put! thanks for this post!

Kristine said...

Hi, I found your post through Sarah Mae. Great reminders and so, so true. This was something I also had to learn and occasionally still have to catch myself on when other women around me are "sharing". Thank you for being so honest and real about respecting our husbands.

Tara said...

What a wonderful post. I work with women who are constantly deriding their husbands. They say the most insulting and degrading things that it leaves me just speechless.

I cannot imagine talking about my husband that way. With that being said, it took me years to realize just how awful it was to dishonor him by the words I said. Praise God that that particular behavior is no longer a concern.

Glad I found your blog. :)

Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

You speak the truth girl! Thank you for that!
Courtney
http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com

Heidi said...

Good word, girl! Good for you!

www.wonderwomanwannabe.com

Tiana said...

Amen!

In addition to not speaking ill of our husbands, actually speaking *well* of them can be a huge testimony to those around us. When we honor our men, we honor God.

Blessings!

~Ashley~ said...

Great post! :)

It is very challenging to find women to hang out with that don't want to do this.

And, even harder, to find moms that don't complain about their small children. :(

Not complaining makes me seem like SuperWoman. :( I'm not!!!! I just don't see the point in bashing those that I love, when they just happen to be stepping on my last nerve at the moment. Just like you said, I'm not perfect. So my husband and my kids could sure share my faults, too!

I'll have to come back and browse some more!

www.homesteadblogger.com/Jonash2004

The Mom with Moxie said...

Love, love, love this post! I always try to never speak ill of my husband to others. We have also made a point of not arguing in front of others, as well. Airing your dirty laundry, in public, is never good for a marriage.

the domestic fringe said...

What a wonderful post! Something we all need to hear.

Have you ever been to the site Addingzest.net. You'd probably like it. It's all about the husband/wife relationship.

-FringeGirl

Gina Lind said...

You are a woman after my own heart! I too try real hard to never bash my husband in front of family or friends. I have been guilty of saying things under my breath that the kids can hear and repent of that and am trying not to do this again. You go girl!

Melissa D said...

super, super convicted by this. and also here via Sarah Mae!