Tuesday, June 1, 2010

my words a weapon of mass destruction...

Let me tell you nuclear weapons have nothing on the power of words.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21

This by far is more of a confession then words of wisdom because this is the area I have struggled the most in and still have to work so hard at. But yet this I believe is one of the areas that most often destroys marriages. When in the heat of anger we say things to "show" our husbands how their actions are hurting us. Except that by saying these awful things it doesn't show them that what they are doing is wrong instead it turns their hearts from us.

Why is it that we think by reminding our husbands how awful they are at helping with the kids or remembering to take out the trash, we think this will somehow change their hearts.

We think we are our husband's conscience, but we are not! We are their help meets.
It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a help meet suitable for him".Genesis 2:18

As women we were blessed with insight. Unfortunately we often use this as a weapon instead of a tool to love on our husbands.

We are so quick to find the faults in our husbands and forget we have our own!

I am ashamed to look back and think of those awful things I would often to say to "show" my husband he was doing things wrong. I know that those words were a marriage killer.

The worst part is that with just one bad sentence you can undo weeks worth of wonderful loving things you said to your husband. Because it's those words that stick in their brain and computes to them that they are a failure.

Apologizing is necessary but once words are spoken you can NEVER take them back and you cannot undo the pain they have caused.I know our husbands often act as if the words we saw do not hurt them but they do!

When we speak these hurtful disrespectful things about them being childish, unloving, bad with money, and not a good enough father, we emasculate them!

.... To be continued.


Be Strong in the Lord said...

Hi. I stumbled upon your blog today. It spoke right to my heart. It was like God was speaking through your words on the screen. I am so thankful that I "stumbled" across them and that you were faithful to write the stuff He is teaching you.

I am a newlywed, and I am trying desperately to learn to do my husband good and not harm all the days of my life. The things you had to say about the power of words and the way we speak to our husbands truly spoke to me. I can not wait for the continuation, so I am going to follow your blog.

I have a blog about some of the things I am learning in my quest to be a wife God would be proud of. If you would like to check it out, it is: Be Strong in the Lord: Following God with Courage into Marriage (http://proverbs31mrsrhodes.blogspot.com/).

Anonymous said...

wow! What a convicting post!

"I am ashamed to look back and think of those awful things I would often to say to "show" my husband he was doing things wrong." I second that!

I have learned to tame my tongue. God tells us that the tongue has the power of life and death. Jesus tells us that if we SAY to the mountain to be moved, and don't doubt then the mountain will be moved. I think I used to give so little thought to my words. But we're created in God's likeness. His words framed the world, and I think mine are powerless! Ha!

Great post :) {I happened across you from Like a Warm Cup of Coffee!}