here it is

welp here it is.. in all its not glory but hopefully it will be to HIS glory... www.hereatthecastle.blogspot.com 

Time For a Change

My life is a constant cycle of change.. as it should be. This being the case and the current journey we are about to head on I feel it's time to move onto a different a blog and start over. This is has been great but was lacking a lot of me. I have never really showed this blog to really many of my friends and have keep it kind of on the down low due to worrying about what people will think of me. I am getting over that. As a matter of fact I am finding out that more people are starting to respect more now that I am just being me. The new changing me.
I think this new journey is a lot like the journey the Israelites took out of Egypt, a time of moving on leaving the old behind and forging forward on a new better path God has for me.
If you wondering what this new blog will be about, well, it will be about our new health journey. It will be about my new passion for how we can show God's love right where we are. It will take you a long on my attempts to craft and organize. Its going to be a mumble jumble of me. Maybe thats not the "right" way a blog should work. But it's me and God has given me my passions and talents. It's time the world meets the real me. Sooo stop by later this week and check out the new blog!

It's all about perspective

It's all about perspective. At least most days it seems to be. How easily we can twist words or actions to mean something they do not. Why are we so easy to assume ill will? Why do we often want to play the victim or the ohh boohoo me?

He is a tall man, I guess kinda scary man depending on who you ask but he is my dad none the less. His life was not an easy one but you won't ever hear him complain. Just like everyone else he has his struggles and faults. My perspective was that he didn't love me. How could he? He never really told me he did. My perspective was I wasn't good enough. How could I be? He was always telling me all the areas I needed improving in. Due to my perspective I chose not to be respectful I chose not to honor him. To this day it is one of my deepest regrets. I let things like a silly worlds perspective get in my way of obeying a command. A command from my heavenly father.

Isn't it so easy to blame? He could do the same, never hearing I love you from his own father. Plus what was he to do with four daughters. All of us blossoming into young ladies in front of his eyes knowing someday some man would come and take us away. How does any man really know what to do at that stage lest he was taught? But there we go again playing the blame game. It's easier to be the victim the one who was wronged. But to change your perspective, to have a perspective that of the Heavenly Father now that takes work.

I'll never forget the day my father told someone he was proud of me. I knew it all along but somehow those words sounded so sweet. I took a look back at my life and remembered all the things he had done for me that said I Love You, though he seldom said the words. All the times of coming to my games at school, pitching the ball to me. Taking us on vacations and teaching us to play games. Always jumping every wave that came our way in the ocean with us. Fixing our car and of course filling our gas tank. Shoveling my driveway while King Los had to work. So many times at the kitchen table trying his hardest to have conversations he didn't know how to have. You see it really is all about perspective. God's perspective. He sees the heart. My Dad has always loved me and always will though we may never agree on somethings. I am determined to try and see people from God's perspective. One of love one of graciousness!

Are you up for the challenge?'

Do everything without complaining or grumbling. Philippians 2:14



I remember awhile back this saying was going around on facebook.  What if all you had today was what you thanked God for yesterday? 


That struck me hard and got me thinking. I wouldn't have very much today. Most days I spend complaining. "Ugh there are so many dishes to wash! Elianna I said stop doing that! Can't you just listen to me for once? Hunny there's no hot water AGIAN! Great now we are running late!" and so on.......

Yesterday I posted on my facebook a challenge. What if instead of just being extra thankful this month we also tried to stop complaining. Are we being thankful if in the next breath we are complaining? Isn't it true that most of the things we complain about are actually just the result of being to blessed? When we complain about the dishes, that's a sign we have been blessed with more food then we need. When we complain about the water being cold that's because we are spoiled and always expect to have a hot shower. What about when our children are driving us crazy? We are blessed beyond words to be their mothers. If you ask me.. I complain because personally I am very spoiled. When things don't go my way I think I am entitled to complain. Like somehow I am not deserving of frustrating things. It all sounds so silly when I say it out loud but couldn't be more true.

SO will you take this challenge with me this month? Thanking God for what we have and avoid complaining for what is not going our way? I know I will mess up and complain some. But every time I start to complain and I am going to stop and say something I am thankful for. I hope you'll join me this month and follow along as I continue to write about Thankfulness and complaining this month.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
   his love endures forever. Psalms 107:1








photo source 

Step by Step

We live by Faith not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

I know I should write a blog post but really I can't find the words these past few weeks. Every time I sit down to write the things I think I will write about the word just aren't coming together.

But one thing I am sure of, being a Christian is not taking the easy road. It's not hiding behind the fact that one day we will spend eternity in Heaven with our Savior. So instead of doing the hard stuff we just hid in our comfortable little houses and pretend that what is going on doesn't pretain to us. After all it's not our children.

Around a year a go I started begging God to show me his will, to show me what he wanted me to do. I begged him to please help me to step by step follow him. What I didn't realize at the time was that step by step is a lot harder. You see God doesn't show you the steps ahead of time. It's just one step and then you wait till he shows you the next one. A lot of times you are about to step where you think he wants you to and then suddenly theres a wall there and you can't get through. At first I feel sad and confused. God didn't you want us to go that way? But then I thank God. Haven't I been praying he would show us the way? Isn't putting walls up and closing doors a way of showing the way? But what happens when more doors are closing then are opening? Does that mean we haven't found the right one or does it mean we were wrong all along? I don't know all the answers but I do know one thing and that is one step at a time we must walk by faith. We can't see whats ahead and most likely because it would scare us. When we say to God we want to stop living like "Americans" and live like a sold out followers for you things really get scary!

I was tired of just being a Christian living in my comfort zone I wanted more of him and less of me. So I hope one day when I can share our whole journey you will see how God directed each of our tiny baby steps towards being a real true follower of Christ. That we may live and speak Christ love not just have been given the gift of it.

When God closes one door

Our trip to Ethiopia in Nov. has been canceled. Today during my time with the Lord I spent time writing in my prayer journal crying out to God asking him to show us exactly what he wanted us to do and to guide each and every one of our steps. An hour later I received an e-mail stating our trip had been canceled. I know this is an answer to my prayer. I am not mad God closed the door rather I am happy to know God has given us an answer. I just find myself having a hard time now sitting here wondering Ok God you closed one door but now which door is the open one? When will I ever learn to allow God to be in control and not think I must know my future?

Please continue to pray for us as something else is in the works right now and we just really wanna know if this is what God wants us. I pray he would continue to shut the doors until we can finally walk through the one he wants us to.

Chose to say blessed be your name?

This morning was wonderful. We had baby dedication and sweet little Julian was dedicated. I love baby dedication. Declaring to our church, family, and friends that we are wanting to raise our children up in the Lord. This baby dedication was different. I found myself even more thankful.

In the Audience sat a woman about the same age as me. She was crying. She was crying not because she was so happy but because she was not up there. She excused herself to the lobby where someone tried to comfort her. You see her story is very similiar to mine. Like me she had a sweet baby boy who decided he wanted to come early. This sweet angel spent time in the NICU just like Prince JC. Unlike Prince JC this sweet angel did not live.

When I found my seat again and saw she had come back into the service. It was the most amazing thinkg to me she was singing along to, You give and take away but my heart will chose to say Lord blessed be your name. She sang this with tear streaked cheeks and her hands raised high. I couldn't help it I tried my hardest to hold my tears in but they just came anyways.

Lord,
Why was I up there? Why is my sweet little guy here and not hers? Why do I get to say you give and she has to say you take away? I know we must both chose to say Lord, Blessed be your name! 


My dear sweet sister today my heart hurts for you. Today I hold my little guy a little tighter. Today I say blessed be your name Lord! Today I share in your sadness and say Thank you! Thank you for showing me no matter what we chose to say Blessed be your name!